Friday, January 7, 2011

A Box Just for Wishes

As a little girl, I would sit and listen to my mom sing and play the guitar for as long as she wanted to sing and play. Having a guitar-playin' mama was pretty cool, and she always picked the best songs. My favorite was an old Jim Croce tune, "Time in a Bottle." Cheesy as the song may be, it was an instant favorite... and one I still love to hear.

If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do; is to save every day 'till Eternity passes away, just to spend them with you...

At around 15 years old, I was overwhelmed with the idea of marriage and consumed with thoughts of eventually finding a husband. Most 15-year-old girls are boy-crazy (which I was), so I wasn't totally out of place... but my heart went so much further than just dreaming of my crush of the week. I was already in love with my husband, I just didn't know who he was!

On June 16, 2001, I began writing love letters to my "future husband." I kept these letters in a box.... a box that I so beautifully decorated with all sorts of 15-year-old stuff. I wrote letters for quite a while, but sometime after 2006, I lost the box. I had no clue where it was.

Until today.

While Blake and I were working out in my mom's shed, I found the box tucked away in a bigger box... on the bottom of a pile of other boxes... :) It was in perfect shape... letters still in tact. Without thinking, I immediately blurted out my intentions with the box to my unassuming fiance. My idea, at 15, was to write letters to my future husband and to send the box to him on the morning of our wedding. Thinking (or, rather, not thinking) that Blake would think my idea was silly and childish, he teared up a bit as I looked through the letters and we both realized just how long ago I started really thinking and praying for my future husband.

I silently read just a few of the letters and began tearing up, myself. I think in that moment, it really hit us both that we're here! We're finally here... we've arrived! All of those questions, all of the wandering, all of the bad dates and bad relationships... now we're here! We're looking in the face of reality and seeing our wishes and dreams and prayers come true... in one another.

At 15 (or 16 or 19 or 22), I couldn't have possibly imagined how wonderful this time in my life would be or how perfect Blake would be for me. Or, maybe I did, because on my "Must-Haves" list, I listed "great forearms," "a prominent Adam's apple," and "likes me back" - all things that appropriately describe my hubby-to-be. :) Such a cheesy song... and some cheesy love letters... but I think it all goes to show that God put the passion for marriage in my heart SO many years ago... and He led me - step by step - to Blake.

If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true; The box would be empty, except for the memory of how they were answered by you...

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