Maleah is a very emotional child. I was a very emotional child. As some would say, I'm getting my "payback"!!! She is a very sweet-natured, smart, gentle little girl who is also silly and a little stubborn. But that all means it doesn't take much for her to get upset. About anything. You know the blog, "Reasons My Son is Crying"... well... that's Maleah.
It's quite challenging to parent a child who is so easily distressed. Nothing calms her - no music, no snuggling, no words of affirmation, no toys... she just has to finish crying and let all of her emotions out. I remember being that way. I would get so upset and it DID. NOT. MATTER. what anyone said or did - I was upset until I was finished being upset. Apparently Maleah is going to be the exact same way.
Yesterday I had one of those "I hate myself" mom moments during one of her scream-a-thons in the car. I just totally lost my cool with her and it wasn't pretty. I cried about it. She cried about it. I have never felt more terrible about myself as a mother! I know you've had those moments, too. You are unsure of your decisions. You're not confident with your actions. You regret words spoken in anger. You regret punishments dealt in the heat of the moment.
I was still upset about it this morning wondering why I can't be the perfect mother. I have worked with children all my life - I even have a degree in KIDS! How is it that I often struggle so much with being a mom? I thought this was supposed to come naturally! I thought I was supposed to be able to fix every problem! I thought my hugs and kisses were supposed to make tears stop flowing! I thought my words were supposed to bring a smile! But, instead, I struggle everyday.
And while I was thinking about all of this and giving myself grief over my lack of perfection, I remembered: "But then God said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for YOU. My strength is made perfect in your weakness.'" (2 Cor. 12:9; emphasis added)
His grace is sufficient for even me - a stretched-thin mom who falls short every day.
His strength is made absolutely perfect in my frequent moments of weakness.
Trusting in Him and in His word is the only way I will ever make it as a mom in 2014. It is increasingly more difficult to cling to His Word, but I will. I will continue to trust that He is bigger than my shortcomings. He is bigger than the challenges Maleah faces with her emotions. He is bigger than my knee-jerk responses. So I will trust 2 Cor. 12:9 and hold firm that God is the supplier of every bit of parenting wisdom I will ever have.
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Each Wednesday, I will post a Scripture (and maybe a song) that has inspired me as a wife, mother, and woman. I hope these are helpful to you!
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