blog/life shuffle

I finally did it. I finally changed the header (and some other things) here on the old blog. I am sooooo not blog savvy like my friend Kathryn, but I try. This is the first header I've made where the picture actually looks like it belongs there! And I changed the title of my blog... it only makes sense because the URL to my blog includes "katiejanesays". Plus I found out through google that "Barefoot in the Kitchen" was already taken and apparently doing quite well!!

Then, I was clicking around my archives and found a link to an older blog that has entries dated back to 2006. LOST theories, big break-up, deciding to go back to school, living without my daddy... there were some good entries. And then, I remembered that I can still access my OLD, OLD blog which dates back to 2003. Good Lord was I a drama queen!!! Some of those posts are just absolutely embarrassing!!! But, everyone has been 17 once so I am sure you understand.

Aside from the shuffling the blog, Blake and I are also shuffling our living arrangements. For the next two weeks, we are staying at my mom's house until we can move into our new apartment on the 24th. When the rains from the most recent hurricane/tropical storm came through, we realized that there were over a dozen leaks in the roof, three of which are major. The whole house needs a brand new roof, and we can't afford one. So, we made the difficult decision to move and I've got to tell you - I've never felt better. I'll write more about the decision later... because it does include some guilt and some sadness. But, for now let's just say that I am PUMPED about moving somewhere where we can finally feel "at home"!

And there's been a little job shuffle too. Without going into too much detail, I had to quit the pre-school job (sad, sad). I probably shouldn't have taken the job to begin with, but that is a different story. Anyway, now I'm subbing in the County Schools and it's awesome! I have had a job every day! I am also still able to continue tutoring every afternoon, so I also have that money coming in. Looks like we're going to make it after all. :)

Mama's Getting Married

It's funny to think that my mom is getting married in two days. Not many people can say that they've had the pleasure of watching their mama date, fall in love, get engaged, get married, go on a honeymoon, and live life as a newlywed. And I bet even fewer get to say they got to go through being a newlywed along with their mamas. I get to do that. :)



We went to lunch after church on September 13, 2009. It was a typical mother-daughter lunch: I was blabbing about teaching, she paid for Panera. ;) I gabbed and gabbed about school, and then out of nowhere, she dropped a bomb on me - "Well... I went on a date last night." I immediately fussed at her for not telling me this sooner!!! She told me his name was Fred, and that they had a good time. I could tell she was smitten. And then something strange happened - suddenly, I felt this surge of worry and concern for her heart. I was happy for her and wanted her to enjoy spending time with someone, but I didn't want to see her heart get broken.

Thankfully, her heart didn't get broken. Fred turned out to be AWESOME and I love him!! He fit right in to our little family and has changed my mom's life for the better. I love seeing them together and I love knowing that she is taken care of. And being able to give your mom wedding advice is pretty hysterical. :)

So, on their 2nd dating anniversary (Monday night), mom and Fred will tie the knot. Mom will be Mary Kathryn Kirby and Fred will officially be my Dad #2. I don't really like the term "step-dad" so I need to come up with something better. How about... my step-Fred? Or just My Fred. I do love him so.

God of Jacob

There's this song on the radio (Christian radio, that is) that has been driving me crazy. It's called "Blessings" by Laura Story. Now, if you know me at all, you know I am a music snob. I generally hate anything new. As in... I've had the same music on my iPod for nearly two years and I'm quite content with it. I like new music by my old favorite artists. It just takes a lot for me to REALLY appreciate anything completely new. I don't know why - it's just really hard to compete with ten years' worth of John Mayer and Hillsong!! But, I've been listening to the radio a lot because my phone and iPod share a charger and the phone usually wins.

Back to the song. The first time I heard it, I was immediately drawn back to the three and a half years I spent working at Gospel Supply and the beginning of my hatred for all things CCM (Contemporary Christian Music). Sorry, anytime you are forced to listen to 4Him or RelientK or Nicole Nordeman for any extended length of time, the redundancy of the lyrics and sappy-ness starts to wear on your nerves. Then I wondered why I was even listening to the Christian radio station....

Then the lyrics to the song appeared on Pinterest. GREAT. Now people are going to fall in love with this song and I can't stand it.

And then I heard it again. And again. And again. And I finally let the words sink in a little.

The reason I hated the song so much was because it was True.

What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand lonely nights
are what it takes to know you're near?
What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

Wednesday night, I wept during our monthly Encounter Night. I cried out of anger, out of confusion, out of surrender, out of gratitude. In the middle of the night, I woke up and wept some more. My sweet husband rubbed my back and reminded me of the story of Jacob and the man. Jacob was heading back to his homeland and to his brother, Esau, as God had commanded. Jacob was frightened - afraid that Esau would attack him for all he had done. Jacob prayed to God for Esau to receive the gifts he was sending and to welcome him home. Jacob was following God's command, though afraid, and trusting Him through it all.

And then he comes upon a man. Jacob is all alone, and he and the man begin to wrestle. They wrestle all night. Finally, morning begins to break and the man says, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let go until you bless me." The man gave Jacob a new name: Israel, because he had struggled with God and with humans and have overcome. (Taken from Genesis 32:22-27.)

I'm heading in the direction God has called me, and I am not letting go. So my healing may come through wrestling, through tears, through restless nights, through snot and puffy red eyes. However it comes, I am not letting go until the God of Jacob blesses me.

And, as one of our pastors recently challenged me - "Name one person in the Bible who God used mightily who didn't go through what you are going through." Uhhh... how about "impossible." I guess that settles it. If you want God to use you mightily, you have to let him use every last bit of you.