Days Go By

Today is the penultimate day of my internship for this semester. (Penultimate means 'next to last'... it is my favorite word in the English language and I rarely get to use it!) Tomorrow, I will say farewell to the nineteen fourth-graders I have been working with for the past twelve weeks. My experience this semester has not at all been what I expected... some good, some bad... but, in the end, I totally afraid that I will cry tomorrow when I leave!!

About four weeks ago, you probably could have caught me saying that I didn't feel connected to these students. I wasn't sure if it was their age or just that I wasn't their normal teacher, but I didn't bond with them immediately the way I bonded with my last class. I think part of it just has to do with their community and their families. It's hard to explain without stereotyping, so... just trust me. I know what I am talking about! The past couple weeks have shown a drastic change... I am seeing that I bonded with these students early into my time with them, but it showed itself in a different way.

Instead of all the hugs and "I love you's" and sweet notes and pictures I received from my students last semester, my fourth-graders have bonded with me by letting me into their little lives. I don't know how to explain it, but it just hit me yesterday - I am so attached to these students and most of them are attached to me. Not that I've done anything special... they would probably be attached to any student teacher. But, this year, I am their student teacher and they are mine for two more days. :) I feel like these students trust me not because they have to, but because they have seen over the course of the semester that I care about them and want the best for them. Second-graders will most likely love you no matter what... fourth-graders are a little harder to impress.

Last year, I felt 100% confident that I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my career. I wanted tot each upper-grades... possibly only as a math teacher. Now, I am not so sure. Teaching fourth-grade has really been an eye-opening experience, as this was my first semester to see what it is really like to prep students for the spring semester's standardized tests. I won't complain here, but I know we are headed for change after 2014 when the government realizes that the majority of schools won't and never will have 100% of students reading on grade level or considered proficient in math. But that's another story for another day. :)

So, at the end of this semester, I am unsure. Unsure of what's ahead... unsure if I will actually get a job in May (I better stop griping about education so I can get a job!! I really DO love teaching, don't get me wrong!)... unsure what I will be doing long-term. But, one thing I do know for now is that I am really going to miss my fourth-graders at Buhl... more than I thought I would.

Homework/Schomework....

It's day five of my ten-day Thanksgiving holiday "break" and I can't really say that I have accomplished much at all. Well, if you consider 10+ hours of sleep a day, scoring some sweet decorations for the wedding, and seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Pt. 1 to be "something," then I have done plenty. But, I haven't really made any good progress on any schoolwork, which is starting to make me a little nervous.

I have about five (maybe six... I've lost count) major assignments due Dec. 7 as well as a full week of teaching the week after Thanksgiving. I have started on most of them, but haven't really made any significant progress.

And... I don't really care! I think I am going to officially procrastinate because I feel like the less time I have to work on things, the less time I'll work on them! Right now, every time I sit down to work, I get really, REALLY distracted... and I end up spending twice as much time "working" than I should.

So... adios, schoolwork! See ya on Saturday.

Hidden Treasure

Somewhere between teaching three days a week, eating Chick-fil-A regularly, and planning a wedding, I've left behind about fifteen pounds. Normally, this would be a great thing. Well, it is a great thing. I feel better and feel healthier, despite the Chick-fil-A. The problem, though, is that I am about to have an internship where I am required to dress up on a daily basis and none - and I do mean none - of my dress clothes fit anymore.

I've been wearing two pairs of pants that are literally two sizes to big and a pair of cute khaki pants that are a size too big. They're all too loose in the waist, which means now they're way too long. None of my dresses really fit anymore and the ones that do are far too dressy for school. I suppose if I had to, I could start wearing cocktail dresses to fourth grade, but I'm not sure the principal would like that!

Because I have changed sizes so much over the past few years, I keep a box of clothes that don't fit in my closet. I dug around in that box a few weeks ago and was excited to find several pairs of jeans once labeled "too small"! That was exciting - except that I can't teach in jeans! I really wanted/needed some new dress pants and skirts so that I could dress appropriately for my internship... and hopefully for my first job, as well!

So, am I writing this just to brag? No. I just needed to set the stage for what happened this weekend.

After debating for a few weeks, I decided to go to the consignment store on Friday to look for some new pants. I got a pair of nice Gap dress pants (that fit!) and two school-appropriate dresses (that fit!) at Deja Vu for about $50. I felt like that was a success! I went a few other places, but those were the only items I found. I was a little disappointed that I didn't find more, but I felt like it was a good start.

Then, yesterday, Blake and I went out to the storage shed to get the Christmas stuff out... and what did I see? A random box of clothes that I apparently set aside to donate to the Salvation Army. At first glance, it looked like clothes that I really didn't like... and then I started seeing some dress pants... khakis, corduroys, black pants... items I had forgotten about. So, I carried the box inside (while Blake carried all the Christmas boxes!) and quickly began trying on these new-found pants.

Well, whaddya know... EIGHT pairs of pants and a skirt were hiding in my storage shed!! They all fit perfectly (except for one pair, but they'll work for now). How incredible is that? I was immediately reminded of God's sovereign provisions... even something silly like dress pants are all part of God's perfect design. And for free... whew! That's the best part! Eight new pairs of pants and a skirt for ZERO dollars (well... I mean, I paid for them once before, but you get the point!)!