Destination Debt Free: Month 1

This marks the first month of our family being "gazelle intense" with our debt. We're looking at a pretty big mountain and, quite frankly, it's overwhelming! When we look at Dave's Baby Steps, all I can really focus in on is Baby Step 2 ("Pay off All Debt but the House") - Because we're gonna be there for a very long time! Paying off all debt is just one giant goal, but there are going to be dozens if not hundreds of little goals that will have to happen along the way. 

Since Blake is still in graduate school and we aren't both working true full-time jobs (even though Blake puts in more hours than most full-time employees!), our Baby Steps are going to have to look a little different for now. We are going to first have to really hone in on our budget in order to reduce (or eliminate) future debt. We are looking very closely at ways to make our budget work for us so that we don't need a loan for the upcoming school year. That's a big task, but we're up for it! 

On or around the first of each month, I'll post a snapshot of our "itty bitty Baby Steps" on Instagram so that you are able to see what we are doing, little by little, to take on this debt. And, on the blog, I'll write a little more in detail about those monthly goals and also re-cap the previous month's goals and share how we did.

I'm a really goal-oriented person, can you tell? 

Debt:

Still not ready to share the big number, but now you know it's somewhere between $10,000 and $99,999! As Dave's Baby Steps recommend, we will be making our minimum payments on all of our current debts until we have completed Baby Step 1. 

Goals:

1. List out all debts and post at home

Pretty self-explanatory, right? It sounds like a silly goal, but if you are in debt you know how hard it is to look at those very real numbers. It hurts! But this is necessary to remind ourselves of what we are facing. Seeing those numbers every day is a great way to stay motivated. 

2. Unsubscribe to YNAB, Ipsy & Hulu

These are just three subscriptions we have that aren't really necessary. YNAB is actually a great budgeting tool, but I found a site I like better (see goal 5!) so there's no need to keep paying. All in all, this will save us $25.99 a month. That's not a lot, I know. But every little bit helps! And while Ipsy & Hulu are both great, they just aren't really necessary. And now we have $25.99 more a month to put towards Baby Step 1!

3. Save toward Emergency Fund

This is Baby Step 1! We currently have over half of the $1,000 in our emergency fund. We actually have more than that in savings, but that money is "ear marked" for future expenses. Since Blake's stipend is only ten months out of the year, we have other savings that we use for those months when he doesn't get paid. So, we aren't going to consider that part of our $1,000 emergency fund.

4. Decrease grocery spending

I love buying groceries. Love, love, love! So this is a hard area for me. I'll write a more detailed post about how I'm doing this, but for now... just know that I've cut my grocery budget by $200 and I'm terrified!!!!! 

5. Track budget diligently

We are using Dave Ramsey's Everydollar.com to track our budget and his We are using zero-based budgeting plan. We've tried other sites in the past (including YNAB, as mentioned above) but, so far, Every Dollar is working the best for us, especially for zero-based budgeting. We know it will take about three months to get our budget "right," so I know it will be a learning curve, but I'm up for the challenge! By tracking it regularly (as in, daily) we can hopefully better adhere to the limits we've set for ourselves. 

Follow along with us and join in on the journey!!!! We're gonna be DEBT FREE.... one day!!!

Destination Debt Free: In It for the Long Haul

Getting out of debt can be such a huge challenge! It is not something that can be done overnight or in just a few weeks (unless you only have a little bit of debt)! But, for most people, especially those of us who are dealing with student loans, you're talking tens of thousands of dollars of debt. And it can take years to pay those off. Right now, we are looking at at least 6-8 years before we can be debt free. Hopefully as we advance in our careers, we can lessen that timeline as our incomes increase. But, for now, that's the time frame we are looking at. 

Six or eight years sounds like a really long time. But, research shows that despite the intention for student loans to be repaid within ten years, it often takes people closer to 20 years (or more!) to pay off their loans!!! Twenty years of debt for four - maybe six - years of college! That is silly! That's like buying a car, driving it for four years, but paying on it for twenty! I don't know about you, but I'd like to get rid of student loan debt as fast as possible so that we can enjoy the present and our future! And can you imagine continuing to pay on your own student loans while paying for your child to go to college? Even harder to imagine! So, yes, six to eight years sounds, feels, and is a long time. But it is nothing compared to the estimated 19.7-23 years it takes many people to pay of the debt.

Part of why we have waited this long to start getting "gazelle intense" is simply our current situation. Blake's in grad school, which means he gets a humble stipend and I am the sugar-mama, working full-time. Blake also works a part-time job as a tutor that pays really well, but it varies from month to month how much he works. This has made it difficult to budget and while we've been paying on my loans (his aren't due just yet), we are barely able to make a drop in the bucket. So for the past couple of years, my mentality has just been that we would do what we could now and really deal with it later - when he is done and we are both working full-time jobs.

But, y'all, "later" is expensive! Even though interest rates on student loans are fairly reasonable, it accumulates quicker than you realize! My student loans have been sitting around, growing interest while we've been postponing our aggressive plan. 

Despite our mistakes with these loans, we are looking to the future with hope and excitement, even. We know we mean business and we are going to tackle these loans once and for all and, eventually, be debt free! 

Destination Debt Free: Big Picture

Today starts a new chapter in the financial life of Blake & Katie! We are excited about tackling our budget and taking down our debt. We've been ignoring the debt cloud hanging over us for pretty much our whole marriage (5 years this June!) - aware that it was there, but assuming we could just deal with it "later". Well, "later" is too far away, so we want to handle it N-O-W!

I am going to be posting a lot (maybe not on my blog necessarily because - newsflash: I have two kids and a full time job! - but definitely on my Instagram & Facebook accounts) about our journey towards a debt free life. This is not meant to be a brag-fest or anything like that, but I've just learned over the years that we aren't the only ones in this situation! Just in the few days that I've been posting on budget topics, I've had a handful of people tell me they're in the same boat and working towards the same goal! So, this is meant to be an encouragement, of sorts, for those of you out there who are also working to get out of debt or just to have a healthy family budget. And it's a tool for me to hold myself accountable throughout this process. 


I'm certainly no expert when it comes to money - which is kinda how we got into this mess we're in! But I've learned a lot over the years and I feel like we are taking the right steps to live without debt. Speaking of steps...

I guess this inaugural post should somewhat explain what we're dealing with in "big picture" terms and how we are going to deal with it.

The Debt: 

Our largest debt is student loans. I took out loans to pay for my undergrad and we have taken out some loans for Blake over the past three years. We currently also have a few hundred dollars on two different credit cards. I'm really not ready to share the total sum of our loans because... well... it's a hard pill for me to swallow right now. But I will eventually be sharing that number because I believe being fairly transparent in this process can be a big encouragement to other people who are in the same situation.

The Plan:

We are going to follow Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps. If you've never read Dave Ramsey's plan, stop what you're doing and read it NOW! It's so simple and makes so much sense. Suze Orman also has a pretty solid plan, but she "allows" you to use credit cards. I have learned in my thirty years that I cannot be trusted with a credit card! So, I feel more comfortable sticking with Dave's plan, in which he highly discourages use of credit cards. Plus, I really like Dave Ramsey's daughter, Rachel Cruze, who works alongside her dad in helping people eliminate debt! 

The Team:
I feel like I should mention that Blake and I are both very involved in this process, but I am the more budget-minded/planner in our family. Blake and I are a team and I won't be sharing any information we haven't agreed to share. 

 Like, I said, that is VERY BIG PICTURE of our overall plan! In future posts, I'll be more specific about all the  many little ways we are working to get out of debt! Stay tuned!

Seven months!

I really haven't blogged a whole lot about Macey... #secondkidprobs!!! I have been doing a weekly photo to make her a chatbooks for her first birthday. I try to capture a cute picture along with something that has happened that week. I don't really have time to do a baby book, so this is my 21st century version of one! But I do want to write a little bit about Macey today!

So, she's seven months old now! Crazy how slowly seven months of pregnancy creeps by and how fast seven months of baby life flies by! Macey's first months of life have been quite hectic, but *hopefully* we're getting into a groove. Honestly, I really was looking forward to the six month mark because I remember that's when I really started to feel more "at ease" with Maleah. But, poor Macey got sick all over again right at six months, so... it wasn't quite the milestone I was hoping for!

Anyway, now she's over the crud and feeling much better and we're trying to carve out some sort of new family structure. Of course with a little baby, things change all the time... but, in my opinion and experience, by 6 months, you can really start to have more of a predictable routine and the baby can also be a little more flexible than before. So my "goal" is to create a routine Macey can be familiar with, but not be so rigid that she can't be flexible from time to time.

Her day: 
5:45-6:15 ~ wake up, take 5-6 oz bottle
6:30/6:45 ~ solids (oatmeal + fruit)
8:30-10:30 ~ 45 min to 1 hr nap somewhere in there
10:15/10:30 ~ 5-6 oz bottle
12:30-2:30 ~ 45 min to 1 hr nap somewhere in there
2:15/2:30 ~ 5-6 oz bottle
4-5:30 ~ cat nap somewhere in there
5:30/6 ~ solids (1.5-2 containers veggie)
6:30/6:45 ~ bath
7:00 ~ bottle and bedtime
9:30/10 ~ dream feed

It has taken us nearly a month to get this routine figured out. We still don't have it totally down pat, but we're working on it! I'd ideally like to have her sleeping until 6:30, but I'm confident she'll get there as she's able to sleep longer without a bottle. Some mornings she goes back to sleep for a bit after the bottle which I'm okay with for now.

Sleep Training
So, in the beginning, Macey was a really good sleeper. She "slept through the night" (meaning going 6 hrs) sooner than Maleah. But, the good sleep was thanks, in part, to the Rock & Play. I don't really want to recount the drama that took place while trying to "wean" her from the Rock & Play. I still kinda have PTSD. Haha. We went from a soundly snoozing baby to a little monster when we tried to transition her out of it! But, we eventually got her sleeping in the pack & play and we just use the R&P for sickness & Sunday naps! She was sleeping soundly once we got her used to laying flat, but then she got RSV... then sleep regression... then the crud... then a growth spurt! So, basically we were struggling for about 2 months. During the struggle, we also did some "spoiling" - meaning, we created some habits that we are now having to break. 

First habit we have to break - the paci. I am fine with her having a pacifier. But we simply cannot go in every hour and give her the paci when it falls out of her mouth. She has to either learn to get it herself (she uses a Wubbanub so it's always close to her) or she has to learn to sleep without it. For now we are giving her more time to help herself before rushing to her side when she starts to fuss. Amazingly, after just a couple nights, she's already self-soothing! If she starts to really cry or fusses for more than, say, five minutes, we to the "shush-pat" technique (see the third habit). 

Second habit we have to break - rocking to sleep. I always rocked Maleah for a little while and then put her to sleep drowsy but awake. That's been my goal with Macey, but she falls asleep really fast! So I have just learned that once she's asleep, I need to savor the moment... and then go ahead and put her down in the crib. I've noticed lately she kinda opens her eyes some when I lay her down, and then she falls back asleep. So, I count that as "drowsy but awake". 

Third habit we have to break - picking her up during the night. I was picking Macey up and rocking or swaying her back to sleep while she was sick. That's obviously fine while she's sick, but I can't do that multiple times each night. Instead of picking her up, now we are doing the "shush-pat" technique. Macey will NOT sleep on her stomach, so I just rub her chest/shoulder/tummy while quietly making the "shhh" sound.

It's only been two nights and we're already seeing the benefits of these techniques. One thing I will say about sleep training is that you can't just start suddenly. We have been doing "sleep training" techniques for her whole life. But now we are having to implement some actual "rules" (for lack of a better term) to help her get back to sleeping better. I know she's gonna be a happier baby because of it!

Things Above

A glimpse into my morning routine:

"What day is it?" 
"Do we bring toys to school today?" 
"Where are we going?"
"Is it school day or church day?" 
"Is it gymnastics day?" 
"Who is coming to our house tonight?"
"Is it Saturday tomorrow?" 

She has to know all the details of her day to feel content. I don't mind answering, even though I clearly remember dreading the "questions" phase of her life. But, I get it. Being a Type A/planner person myself, I know all too well the uneasiness of life without a plan. My little three-year-old is already trying to wrap her mind around time and understand her little world. And I want to do my best to help her figure it out... all while trying very hard to teach her to be a little more flexible than I am. :) 

Here lately, I find myself also asking a long list of questions. I'm not exactly sure where the fascination began or why, but I literally have just been completely overwhelmed with thoughts of Heaven. There have been times I literally have almost become sick thinking about it. Not because I don't want to go - trust me, I do! But, to be very honest, I'm scared. That may sound silly - Heaven is supposed to be a place of no fear! And I'm not necessarily afraid of Heaven. Afraid of dying, yes. But in regards to Heaven - I'm just more perplexed than anything. The scary part, to me, is that there's no one to really give me any definitive answers to help ease my mind the way I try to help ease Maleah's mind every morning. There's no one to tell me exactly what to expect. 

Some of my questions are: 

"What will my body be like in Heaven?"
"How old will I be?" 
"How can I not be sad about people who aren't in Heaven with me?" 
"Will my existence in Heaven have purpose and meaning?" 
"How will I not get bored? What will I be doing for ETERNITY?"
"If there is no night, will I rest?" 
"Will I get to eat!?" (Serious question, there!)
"How will we all fit in one place?" 
"Will it be about the size of Earth, except we will all be more like the size of ants? Surely that's how we're going to ALL fit in this place FOREVER." 
"Will I have a job?" 
"If I have a job, what will it be? Are there any problems to solve in Heaven that require a job?"
"Will I get to meet a lot of people?" 
"Will I be conscious of my life on earth and, if so, how will I not feel remorse or guilt about anything?" 
"Will Kari Jobe have a special auditorium where she sings for hours on end?" (No, really.)

Those are just a few. As I said, my mind has been filled with questions. This isn't the first time I've ever pondered these things. But I will say this is definitely the first time I have really wrestled with any of it. 

I do remember going through a similar phase as a teenager. I was terrified that I'd never get to experience having children on earth and, therefore, I wouldn't have any children in Heaven. And I do remember when I became pregnant with Maleah (and, eventually, when she was born) having this sense of relief. Like, I have done everything on this earth I wanted to accomplish. Of course, I still want the joy of raising her and her sister, but I have now "checked off" (for lack of a better phrase) something I dearly wanted to experience in this life. 

But, I'm really wrestling with all of these things. I have been reading more about Heaven and trying to wrap my earthly mind around some potential answers for my many questions. 

Last night, as I lay awake around midnight, the questions came pouring in faster than I could even process. I was frantic, trying to explain Heaven to myself. Trying to calm myself. Trying to imagine the joy I will experience once I finally know. And finally... it just hit me... 

I don't need to worry about Heaven. Wonder, yes. Worry, no. If I can trust God with my salvation, I can certainly trust Him in the joy of Heaven. If I can find satisfaction in Him here, how much greater will that be when I can actually be fully satisfied in Him? 

I can tell I'm headed on a journey in the near future - these questions are too loud in my mind to ignore. I'll be learning a lot more about Heaven in the coming weeks and I want to write about my questions and the answers I find. Maybe you have questions, too. And while I'm not on the hunt to find specific answers for every single question I have, I do want to learn more about what we can know about Heaven while we live on earth. 

But I am very confident in this - Heaven is too great a place for my human mind to even fathom. And that fact alone is so, so satisfying. 

Colossians 3:1-3: Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your^a life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

1/3 of a year old!

The fourth month is such a fun little stage of a baby's life! They're slowly becoming more aware of the world around them and their little personality begins to really show! Macey is definitely enjoying being a part of our family (oh, the smiles she gives her sister!!! SO sweet!) and is really workin' on her smiling game. Sister can melt your heart in a second with her cute little grin! We are loving her new-found awareness and are looking forward to the changes that I'm sure lie just around the corner!

Just for my personal reference, here's a sample schedule of a day in the life of Macey Doodle-Bug:
6:30 am - wake up, chug a 5 oz bottle
6:45 am - diaper change, get ready for school, play for a little bit
7:15 am - leave for daycare and she usually falls asleep on the way (or if we're at home, she goes back down for a nap around 7:30/7:45)
9:30 am - 5 oz bottle
11:00 am - nap? Her naps are rather inconsistent at daycare, but at home this is when she would usually go back down.
12:30 pm - 5 oz bottle
2:00 pm- nap
3:30 pm - 5 oz bottle
5:00 pm - mommy's back! She usually falls asleep again on the way home!
5:30 pm - get home and play "is Macey going to stay asleep or wake up" game. Sometimes she will sleep for 30-45 minutes, other times she just stays awake. This will hopefully be the first nap she drops! It is so inconvenient because this is right when we need to be making dinner, unpacking their bags, etc. 
6:30 pm - another 5 oz bottle
7ish - bath & bedtime routine (including LOTS of cream for her eczema!)
7:30 pm - time for bed! I usually rock her and sing some songs before putting her down. 

Eat = Macey still eats on a 3 hour routine and takes 5 oz each feeding and has 6 feedings a day. She is still getting mainly breast milk with the occasional formula to supplement. I am really proud of pumping for so long and I hope to be able to continue for at least 2 more months, if not longer. We are trying to get her to take one bottle of formula a day so that I am not stressing if I don't make quite enough for her each day. So far my supply has been more than enough, but sometimes she takes 7 feedings in a day and that's when I get behind. And, if I do want to end pumping, I want her to be adjusted to formula for a while so we don't bother her tummy. 

Our adventure in the next month will be starting solids! I'm actually pretty hesitant to go ahead and start, so it'll likely be a s l o w introduction! I'm planning on giving her just oatmeal/rice cereal until 5 months. No need to rush!

Oh, and man... I feel like she's going through a growth spurt every couple of weeks! I feel like Maleah's were more spaced out, but it seems like every time we turn around, Macey's hungry hungry hungry!

Activity = Macey Ellen is quite the wiggle worm! She is trying SO hard to roll from her back to her tummy. She'll get it! She has been practicing overnight as she turns herself around and around in the pack & play. She will seriously make a 360 turn during the night (I get up sometimes and check on her). It cracks me up how she can spin herself around while swaddled! Macey holds her head up quite well and likes to sit upright. She got an excersaucer for Christmas and, although she's still a little too small for it, we'll put her in there for 10-15 minutes at a time and she LOVES it. I can tell she's going to be a busy body. She LOVES toys and loves to play! She will sit and entertain herself for a long time in her bouncy seat!

Sleep = We had a little hiccup over the Christmas holidays with naps. Seems that rocking a baby to sleep really can affect their ability to take a good, solid nap! Since things were so crazy, I was holding her longer before her naps and when she would transition sleep cycles, she would wake up SCREAMING mad and could only be comforted if you rocked her. Then it turned from rocking her back to sleep to not being able to put her back down at all. This was fine for a few naps. But then it was EVERY single nap and it just wasn't working!!! So, we had to nap train her a little and she got back on track. At home, she usually naps in the swing or in her rocker and sometimes needs to be soothed in the middle of the nap, but she's gotten much better about going back to sleep and finishing the rest of her nap. Then she wakes up smiling and happy! 

We are trying to get her to sleep in the pack & play in our room so that we can eventually move her to her crib in the girls' room. She is actually doing really well sleeping in our room, but we're kinda ready to get our room back to ourselves! Plus, their room is literally right next to ours, so she won't be far away at all! Right now she tends to rouse around 2/3am and need to be comforted, so we're going to wait until she's really solidly sleeping through the night before we move her. Honestly, I'm kinda tempted to just put her crib in our room and share the room until she can have a room of her own. We'll see about that. ;) 

Life = We are somewhat adjusted to live with two kids. It's honestly been a really challenging phase. I mean, going from "none to one" is pretty tough, but at least you can get a little relief. If I was exhausted, Blake could take Maleah for a little while and let me nap. That's not the case anymore. We usually divide & conquer - we each take a child and do whatever they need. And then we pass out after bedtime! 

Macey at 3 Months

How can it be that my little baby is 3 months old already!? This past month that I've been back to work has made time seem to fly by, that's for sure! Here's a little about Macey at this age... 

Eat = Macey eats every 3 hours, but now she regularly takes 4 oz at a time. She has dropped her early morning (4-5am) feeding, so she takes 6 bottles a day (6:30a/9:30/12:30p/3:30/6:30/10)! She is still fed breast milk exclusively and I'm really proud of myself for making it this far with my trusty pump! 

Activity = We have a rolling baby! She rolled for the first time the day after she turned 12 weeks. It was SO fun to watch! I really didn't expect to have that same excitement with Macey as with Maleah. But I was SO excited and it made my heart so happy to watch her roll over for the first time! Macey is still a super happy and relaxed baby. She likes to see what's going on around her and loves to be held. And she loves watching mobiles! I don't ever remember Maleah being particularly interested in mobiles, but Macey loves one. I think Santa might bring her one for Christmas! One funny thing about Macey is that she likes movement... A LOT. If she is sleepy while we're driving, she will be calm while the car is in motion but if we get to a red light... my, oh my does she let me know she's not happy we have stopped! 

Sleep = Macey is sleeping through the night now. WOO HOO! She takes her last bottle around 10pm and goes until 6/6:30 before she is hungry again. She still rouses some around 4am, so we're working to help her stay asleep. Sometimes all it takes is a pacifier and sometimes it takes a little extra effort (like finding something safe for her to snuggle with!). We are working on crib training her since she's sleeping so well. Hopefully by Christmas/Near Years she'll be in her crib all night. We're just taking it slowly! Macey is not the best napper, but she does nap! It just isn't totally consistent - she might sleep for 45 minutes, wake up for half an hour, and drift back off to sleep. Who knows, haha. She's such a mellow baby that I just kinda let her do what she will! 

Other = Macey has had her first cold this past week. :( She was really fussy over the weekend and earlier in the week, but it seems to be subsiding and our happy baby is returning! 

Overall things are going really well! Macey is just the perfect addition to our family. She is usually very happy and content. When she does get fussy, it's pretty easy to figure out what's wrong and help her calm down. Maleah is doing really well as big sister. She loves Macey and is really proud of her. She likes talking to her and showing her toys and her things. She is starting to be okay with the boundaries we have set and the jealousy is subsiding some. I'm trying to incorporate the girls' routines as much as I can so that they are doing things together (like going to bed, for instance) instead of separately. 

I won't lie, though, working full-time on top of taking care of two kids has really been exhausting. Blake does just as much with them and around the house as I do and, yet, we still can't stay on top of our to-do lists! We are just kinda making it at this point... but we know things will get a little easier with time. I am learning to just do what absolutely NEEDS to get done and try to get to the rest when we have time. I think part of the stress is that I went back to work right as the busy holiday season was picking up. Once we are done with this weekend (our church's Christmas program), we will be able to relax a little more. Plus, Blake will be done with tutoring and can be home every night of the week! Yay! 

Being a Mom of 2

On January 22, 2013, my world was ROCKED. Little baby Maleah was born and life as I knew it was changed forever. No one can ever prepare you for the process of going from a married couple to a couple of parents. No book, no anecdotal advice, no amount of watching friends do it... nope, nothing can prepare you for the way your life changes after your first child.

I remember struggling so badly with the 3-hour schedule. I felt like we were chained to this incessant wheel of feed-play-sleep. I remember resenting how long it took to get Maleah settled for bed - how am I going to spend an hour of my life every night getting this tiny person ready for bed?  I remember crying over lost sleep, crying over room-temperature cups of coffee, crying over her crying. 

I finally settled in to being a parent. All those things I found so difficult in the beginning slowly but surely just became part of who I am. And, no longer did I resent the bedtime routine... it actually became my favorite time of day. I don't miss the "freedom" I had before Maleah came along... and, frankly, during the times she's spending the night with a grandparent and we're able to do things kid-free, I'm really just counting down the hours until she's with us again. 

So when we found out we were expecting baby #2, I wasn't really sure how to prepare myself. How much more change would there be? How would I handle it? How would Blake and Maleah handle it? How could I stretch myself even more to care for another child? 

Honestly, the adjustment to two children has not been as difficult as I imagined. If Blake weren't as helpful as he is, I might be having a tougher time. But usually when things are hectic, we divide and conquer. We each take a kid and handle whatever needs to be handled. The hardest part, so far, about having two children is the heartache of not being able to be in two places at once. 

The other difficult adjustment has been helping Maleah transition to being a big sister. She has been the center of our world and, while we have tried not to spoil her, I know (as an only child, myself) that it's very different to suddenly have to wait... or to share... or to be told "no". She has adjusted fairly well, but also being almost-3 means she is changing in addition to the change of having a baby sister. 

The best part about being a mom of 2, though, is really simple. Snuggling both of them at once is like the greatest feeling ever. These two beautiful little girls didn't exist just a few years ago. Blake and I haven't even been married five years and, yet, we have these new people to call our own. It is such an amazing thing!

And who knows... maybe I'll eventually be writing about being a mom of 3. :) 

Two Months of Macey!

Two months ago, Macey Ellen came into our lives and - WOW! - what a crazy two months it has been! Macey is still just the sweetest little baby! She is very mellow and easygoing. She is the perfect addition to our family!

So... I'm gonna keep this short and sweet!

Eat = Macey eats every 3 hours and goes 7-8 hours at night. She takes between 3-4 ounces at each feeding and seems to tolerate it well! We are trying to wean her from the 5 a.m. feeding since it is so close to our desired wake-up time (now 6:30 am instead of 7 since I have to go back to work tomorrow!). She has started spitting up a little more, but she doesn't seemed bothered by it! Macey is also a very busy eater - sometimes she wiggles around so much while she eats that it's hard to hold her! 

Activity = Macey smiles SO much! Half of her awake time is spent with us getting her to smile! She loves the little mobile on her swing... makes me wonder if we should get one for her crib. She holds her head up fairly well and has also started turning her head towards noise. According to "Wonder Weeks," she's currently in a leap where she should start being even more aware of her surroundings. So, far, I'd say that's true! She is definitely more aware of us, who's doing what, and looks around to figure out what's happening in the room. Thankfully Macey is also usually really good about being put down... it's hard to juggle two kids sometimes, so I'm glad she's happy to chill in her bouncer while we attend to the other kiddo!

Sleep = Sleep... oh, sleep... while Macey does go 7-8 hours between feedings at night, she still cries out or makes noises for other reasons during the night. We're currently trying to stop using the rocking motion on her Rock & Play because she wakes up as soon as it turns off! She has become dependent on it. Eventually the goal is to move her into her & Maleah's room, but we want her to be sleeping soundly through the night first. Naps are pretty good... she sleeps for about 1.5-2 hours at a time (with some random waking). 

Our daily routine looks a little like this... the morning has been a little crazy because she's waking during the 5 o'clock hour, but so far this works most days:

5-5:30 a.m. - Macey wakes to eat, we get up for the day
6:30 - try to get Macey to take another 2-4oz, get both girls up and ready for the day
9:30/12:30/3:30 - Macey eats
6pm - we eat dinner
6:30 - Macey eats, then we do baths and play until bedtime
7:30 - Macey usually falls asleep by this time and we start getting Maleah off to bed 
10pm - Blake feeds Macey a "dream feed" and we go to bed!

I also pump during the day... right now at 5:15, 7:45, 11:15, 2:15, 5:15, 9:30. I'm trying to change to 5:15, 7:45, 11:45, 3:45, 9:30... but I'm going to wait until after Thanksgiving to do that.

Life is going great... it's really hard, to be honest, but it's worth it! We love our girls so much and want to provide the best little life for them! It can be quite challenging at times, but I have never had a better job!!!

Macey: One Amazing Month (and a half!)!

Macey girl is six weeks old! In so many ways, it feels like she has been a part of our family for WAY longer than six weeks. She completely just fits right in and it's almost like we've always had her! In other ways, we are quickly reminded that she is, indeed, still a newborn! I have had to remind myself OFTEN to take it easy, rest, and that it's okay not to take a shower until noon. 

The first several weeks are really hard with a newborn. They just are. There's the adjustment of just bringing home a new baby, healing from labor and delivery, trying to sleep whenever you can, mounds of laundry... and - oh yeah! - taking care of yourself AND a toddler (AND a husband!)!!! Life is busy, but blissful!

So, about Macey... first of all, she is a seriously sweet little baby! She has definitely "woken up" from the newborn slumber, but she's still a pretty calm baby. Every time I look at her, I just feel like she has always been part of our family. It's so hard to imagine life before her - even at this early stage! Since she is our last baby (never say never, but... probably never...), I'm really trying to just enjoy all of it and not stress too much. Easier said than done, of course!



I wrote about Maleah during each month of her first year so I must do the same for Macey, right!? So, here's All About Macey at six weeks!

With both of our girls, we have used the "E.A.S.Y." method to guide our daily routine. E.A.S.Y. in a nutshell just means eat/activity/sleep/"you" time... it has worked really well with both girls and establishes consistency in their day (as well as in ours). 

Eat = Macey eats every 3 hours during the day and has been going 5-6 hours at night. Currently she eats around 7a/10/1/4/7p during the day with 7pm being "bedtime". She has recently been taking a 10pm bottle and then waking around 3:30/4am again to eat (instead of waking at 12am and 3am, which is what she was doing before). I am exclusively pumping and am really pleased that we have not had to supplement at all! Pumping is a lot of extra work, but it works well for us and I love knowing we are both getting all the benefits of breast milk!

Activity = Obviously a baby this young doesn't do much during their awake period. Most days, Macey stays awake anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours after eating. I might use her alert period to do tummy time, read a book, walk outside, cuddle and talk to her... you know, baby stuff. This is also when she gets a diaper change. In the past week she has really started being a little more interactive - smiling, looking for us, staring at objects. I love it! She likes to practice holding her head up while she's on my chest and does pretty well! Right now we spend a lot of her awake time trying to get her to lay on the left side of her head - she prefers the right and it has caused plagiocephaly on that side. We are really hoping it resolves with re-positioning. We'll find out a little more at her 8-week appointment.

Sleep = Macey takes a nap after each feeding - so that's four naps a day before bedtime. We consider 7am "wake up" time. We get her up, feed her, change her clothes and that's when the lights come on and we let in the noise of the day. "Bedtime" is at 7pm - that's when she gets a bath, pajamas, we turn down the lights, and limit noise. I really think having these two "fixed points" during the day helps differentiate night and day and will help her sleep better in the long run. 
     Naps have been a little tricky lately. Macey has what is known as the "45 minute intruder" AND she seems to be somewhat of a light sleeper. While I definitely don't believe in tip-toeing around a baby, I also know she needs sleep so I'm willing to meet her in the middle! During the day, I dim the lights while she naps and try to keep the noise level relatively low - like, I keep the TV or music quiet. She rouses at the 45-minute interval, and I can usually just quickly soothe her without picking her up (b/c I want her to learn to sleep through that light stage of sleep!). For her early evening nap (after her 4pm bottle), I just wear her in the Moby wrap because when Maleah gets home, it's LOUD!!! Macey does GREAT napping in the Moby!!! 
      Night-time is going well, too! Macey really only wakes to eat and then goes right back to sleep. If she does have trouble sleeping, it's after her feeding and usually some gas drops do the trick! 

You Time = Well, "me" time isn't really about "me" these days! There's plenty to do... like write this blog post! ;) But I spend my down time trying to get things done around the house, rest, pump, and take care of myself (i.e., shower!). I have pretty much healed from delivery and am ready to start walking and exercising some... I'm just not sure when exactly I have time to do that! I think I've lost all but 8-10 pounds of my baby weight (I gained 26) and it'll come off eventually! I'm not really worried about it. I'm pretty tired and usually take a little nap after lunch... and then I have coffee!!! I look forward to my morning and afternoon coffee! :) 

Maleah has adjusted pretty well to having a new sister around. The first week was NUTS. Just being honest. While Maleah hasn't necessarily been jealous, she has had a hard time learning the boundaries of a baby (don't put toys on her face, don't push her head, don't scream in her face while she's sleeping... or, at all...). At first she was constantly in Macey's face, but that incessant fascination with her has worn off and Maleah has learned certain "rules". Maleah is also learning a lot about patience - sometimes Mommy and Daddy both have their hands full! But I'd say the past two weeks have been really good and I'm hoping it just keeps getting better from here!

One of the vast differences between my time with Maleah and Macey is that I am STILL ON MATERNITY LEAVE! :) I'll go back 1/2 days in 3 weeks and then full time the following week. It has made a HUGE difference to have this extended time to stay home. The biggest struggle for me staying home is that I am a really goal-oriented person. While I do enjoy being lazy, it's hard for me not to feel guilty about all the things I "should" be doing. When I think back to the past six weeks, I'm like... what have I accomplished!? My house is a mess, I have barely gotten out of the house, I rarely wear makeup, we've watched A LOT of movies... but, then I remember that my biggest "goal" during this leave is simply to take care of Macey (and Maleah!). And I have done that really well!!! All that other stuff will come with time - there is absolutely no need to rush it! 

So, now I have to go dry my hair and put on some concealer (so I don't scare myself or the UPS man) and watch Dancing With the Stars while I feed Macey! (Bindi is her favorite, BTW!) 

Stay tuned for more updates!

Happy Birthday, Macey Ellen!

We now have two kids! Ahhh!!! Macey Ellen was born Monday, September 7 (Labor Day!) at 12:47 p.m. and has just completely melted our hearts all over again! Here's her birthday story: 

After having a very successful, peaceful, and happy induction with Maleah, we were hoping to have a similar experience with Macey. Early on in the pregnancy, we agreed that if I was progressing on my own near the end that we would go with an induction. I know elective inductions are controversial, but obviously I have two healthy kids and had two great deliveries, so I guess you can consider me proof that they don't always result in horror stories! :) 

At my 35 week appointment, I had no progression. At 36 weeks, I was 1cm and somewhat effaced and by 37 weeks I was 2cm. My doctor won't do an elective induction unless you are at least 2cm and favorable, so by 37 weeks we were pretty confident we'd be getting induced. At my 38 week appointment, I hadn't had any change, but we were able to get our induction orders for Labor Day! That just happened to be when my doctor was on call after I turned 39 weeks! WE WERE SO EXCITED!

Just like with Maleah, I had lots of Braxton Hicks contractions and a couple episodes of false labor in the latter weeks of pregnancy. This made me hopeful that things would go well during labor and delivery. But I had no idea just how well things would go this time! We got to the hospital a few minutes after 5am and were quickly taken to a room. We got all set up and they started pitocin and I felt the first contraction at 5:44 a.m. - yes, I remember the time! The contractions were really strong and consistent from the beginning. Dr. Ray came to break my water at 7:20 and the contractions got even stronger after that. At that point, I was 4cm and about 50% effaced and -1 station. She said she'd come check me again after I got an epidural - there was no need to keep checking me. 

Maleah's labor was around 13 hours in total and I think I pushed for around 40 minutes. It was mostly uneventful - I got an epidural after 5/6 hours of labor and had a little blood pressure dip after the epidural, but that was resolved quickly. Transition lasted around two hours, so those two hours were quite emotional and intense (yes, even with an epidural!). I felt very much in tune with everything that was happening - just without intense pain! I was really hoping for the same with Macey's delivery. 

So, when I was already thinking about the epidural around 7:45, I was feeling like a total wimp. I didn't want to get it too early because I know it can slow labor and the longer you have it, the longer the after-effects last. But by 8am, the contractions were intense enough that I called for the anesthesiologist. He came in the room at 8:12 and I was really feeling like a total failure! I had barely been contracting 3 hours and was already needing relief! These contractions were super intense in my back and I was mostly nervous that waiting would make it even more difficult to get the epidural. So I obeyed the CRNA's orders and got in position to have the epidural placed. 

The placement was quite interesting... I have scoliosis and failed to mention that to him, so we all learned the hard way! Once he got going, I told him I could feel something to the left of my spine. He said, "Really?" I thought maybe I was just imagining the pain, so he tried again and, again, I felt pain to the left. In a puzzled voice, he said, "That's strange because I am WAY over to the right..." - Blake even saw that he was working more towards my right side. He kept feeling around and finally got it in and later mentioned my back was curved about 1 inch to the right, so he just unfortunately had to find the sweet spot by trial and error. Once it was placed, I was laid flat on my back for the medicine to take effect. 

Not sure if you know this, but having to lie flat while having really intense contractions is NO FUN. And, guess what! I had to lay there for a long stinkin' time while waiting for the epidural to work! For whatever fun (sarcasm) reason, the epidural decided not to take correctly. I could feel it s l o w l y working its way up my legs, but it just was not getting to my belly! The CRNA left after about 30 minutes from placement and said if it wasn't working within 20 minutes to call again. We made it 15. The nurses called and the CRNA came back with the anesthesiologist. My legs were getting more and more numb, so they did some simple testing to make sure it was equal on both sides. It was evenly distributed, so they first wanted to just give a re-dose instead of totally replacing it. THANKFULLY, the re-dose worked within 15 minutes. I had a little hot spot on my lower right abdomen (same with Maleah), so they tilted me for a little bit to get the medicine to trickle into that spot. 

Finally, after over an hour since the initial placement, the epidural was doing its job. I could still feel the pressure of the contractions, but little to no pain. Rest was on the agenda! Except... I couldn't rest... because my legs were killing me. I suppose since they took the medicine with the initial dose, the second dose was almost too much for my legs to handle. They were so incredibly tingly and heavy that I could not for the life of me get comfortable enough to rest. There was a lot of blanket rolling, pillow stuffing, turning, and anxiety as I tried and tried to get into a comfortable position. 

In addition to this discomfort, I noticed the contractions seemed to be slowing and, on the monitor, it looked like Macey's heart rate was dipping some. I was really getting nervous that things were headed to a bad place. I was wondering if this epidural was going to spiral my labor out of control and send me into an unplanned C-section. I was really worried. 

Finally around 11am, I just really needed total relief. I turned on my Brian & Jenn Johnson station on Pandora and put phone near my belly and just started focusing on praising God and asking Him to be with us during labor! I just kept praying for God to bring me peace and rest and for Macey to be okay. Blake and my mom went to grab lunch soon after my little jam session began and as soon as they walked out the door, Kim Walker Smith/JesusCulture's "Holy Spirit (You are Welcome Here)"  came on. As soon as the chorus started, the tears just came... it was just a sweet, sweet moment with the Lord during labor. It was exactly the song I needed to hear in that moment. I just kept praying for God to fill the room with His spirit and to help me get through, no matter what that meant. 

And, y'all, I am not kidding, He answered those prayers within minutes. I was able to really relax and calm down. And my contractions started to pick up. And then things moved very quickly... very quickly... 

Around 11:30/11:45 (?), the contractions started to get really intense. While I couldn't feel the pain, I knew they were getting stronger. I called the nurse to come check me and when she did, she said, "You're at least 8, if not 9 - it's really hard to tell because the baby's head is really low." She explained the decels we thought we were seeing were actually just a sign that Macey's head was engaged and getting squished a bit with each contraction. She said she'd been watching the monitors from the nurse's desk and knew I was getting close. Answered prayer! The nurse said Dr. Ray would be in to check me in 20-30 minutes.

My cousin Holly showed up right around noon. I don't remember all the details at this point, but things were starting to really pick up and Holly was having to talk me through the contractions. I could feel intense pressure and started to even feel pain again in my lower abdomen (on both sides, this time). All I could do during contractions was close my eyes, breathe, and ride the wave. Holly told me to call the nurse again, so I did. I just couldn't wait for Dr. Ray. The nurse came in and I explained the pain aspect, so she called the anesthesiologist to possibly do a re-dose. I was really worried that I'd feel pain elsewhere during the actual delivery, so the plan was for them to come give me a little boost before pushing. 

But before that could happen, Dr. Ray came in the room quickly and said she'd check me and that if I was complete, we could make those hot spots of pain go away by pushing instead of getting more medicine! So, she checked me and - voila! - I was complete and ready to push! I kept saying, "I told y'all!"!!! Even with a heavy dose of epidural, I was really aware of everything that was happening - just like with Maleah's labor. It was awesome!

It's go time!!! 

They got the bed and room ready very quickly because I was actually having to hold off on pushing. (Don't worry, there are PLENTY of pictures of me not looking quite as chipper as the photo above!!!) I remember them telling me I could "bear down, but don't actually push" while they rapidly prepped. Ummmmm.... that's not entirely possible.... :) 

Within a few minutes, I was pushing with the nurse. Pushing was different this time - with Maleah, I was literally cracking jokes in between pushes. With Macey, I could barely keep my eyes open in between! I pushed through two contractions and was then ready for Dr. Ray. She was rushing to get her gloves on and get seated for the next contraction and they were saying, "Try not to push!". I did not like them saying to wait! This baby needed to come out! But Dr. Ray - in the midst of racing to put on her gown and gloves - said to go ahead, so I started pushing again with her. I pushed through one more contraction and Macey was born! She came out perfectly (unlike her sister whose little head was sideways!) at 12:47 p.m. and with pink skin like a little piggy! (She got a 10 on her Apgar!)

They immediately placed her on my chest to do skin-to-skin and then they left her on me for over an hour! I was so amazed that they let me hold her for so long. That was not the case with Maleah - we did skin-to-skin briefly, then they took her to the warmer for assessment and brought her back all bundled. I truly think that time with Macey made a huge difference as far as nursing goes. Anyway, I felt bad that no one was getting to hold her - we let everyone come in to get a glance at her. But, I knew she was right where she needed to be! After about 45 minutes, the nurse weighed and measured her - she was 6lbs15oz and 19.5 inches - and then gave her back for me to start trying to nurse. She latched on easily and spent another 30 minutes just enjoying herself! Haha! 

Daddy finally got his hands on his new baby girl!

Once they took Macey to the nursery, they noticed her temp wasn't stablizing. She had to stay under the warmer for a couple of hours until she could warm up. That part was pretty frustrating because I knew if they'd just bring her to me, she would warm up! Everyone kept an eye on her from the nursery window... including Big Sister!

Finally, Macey got to come back to the room! Maleah got to hold and love on "her baby" and all was well! This go 'round at the hospital was much calmer than with Maleah. We were actually able to get some decent rest and Macey stayed with us all day long both days we were there. We sent her to the nursery at night just to get a little sleep in between feedings, but other than that, they only took her twice during the day. It was great!

And when she was just over 48 hours old, we dressed her up like a doll baby and took her home!

So far, things are going as well as expected! We're exhausted and trying to adjust to having two kiddos to care for. But we are loving it! So far, Macey is a really chill baby - I hope that lasts! She pretty much eats, gets her diaper changed, and goes back to sleep! We have to go get her bilirubin checked again tomorrow (it was borderline on Friday), but all signs point to her being a really healthy baby. And Maleah is adjusting as well as she can - it's a lot to take in for her, but she's doing a great job as big sis so far!

We can't wait to see how this precious girl grows. We love her so much already! 

Macey: 38 weeks

This will probably be my last post before Macey arrives! I honestly can't even get my brain to function anymore, so... I doubt I'll be in any shape to write for a little while. But here's the 38 week update for little Macey girl!

Heart Rate: 140-something. Healthy and strong!

Stats: For a few weeks, I didn't gain any weight. My appetite here at the end has been rather finicky so I wasn't surprised that my weight gain slowed. All in all, I've now gained 25 pounds! Macey seems to be growing right on track - ever since we had a little stall in growth, my doctor hasn't told me my fundal height at my appointments. I assume that means I'm measuring a tad behind and that she doesn't want me to worry! At our 35 week ultrasound, they estimated that Macey weighed 5 pounds 3 ounces. So she's growing just fine!

Symptoms: I actually feel pretty decent for being this pregnant! I think I've just finally adjusted to all of the weird pregnancy symptoms and, if nothing else, I know the end is near! I'm very grateful to be really healthy, not have swollen feet and - don't be jealous - no stretch marks! So I guess I'm just so happy about the problems I'm not having to really dwell on the things that aren't so lovely!

Appetite: My appetite is so-so. If I am able to eat whatever it is I'm really craving, I can pack away some food! Today I ate a huge chicken gyro and a big bowl of rice for lunch! YUM YUM! But you know what REALLY tastes good ALL THE TIME? PELLET ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 Movement: Macey has been quite wiggly the past few days! She has kept me up the past couple of nights as she stretches. Usually her feet are WAY over to my right side. But last night she had her feet right up against my rib cage! Not cool, little one! 

Sleeping: One day I'm going to sleep on my stomach again and it's going to be GREAT!!! The past several nights, I have been taking Tylenol PM to help me sleep. It's not that I just can't sleep, but my hips are so sore that I can only lay on my side for so long. And rolling over is an acrobatic act, so I have to wake up in order to move to my other side. So, there's lots of tossing and turning in the night. The Tylenol PM helps me stay drowsy enough that, even though I am waking up 5, 6, 7 times a night, I can go back to sleep very quickly. I also wake up to eat around 2/3 and I stay up for maybe 30 minutes to an hour before being able to go back to sleep. I've actually gotten used to this routine, so I am really interested to see how much of a sleep hangover I'll have in the far far far far far away future when I can actually get a full night's rest!

Looking Forward To: HAVING THIS BABY!!! It's SO close! I just cannot wait for her to be here!!! I have packed her bag and am so eager to see her in all of her precious little clothes. Maleah's ready (claiming "Macey's ready to come out!" almost every day), Blake is giddy with excitement, and I'm just hoping I can get all the laundry done before she's born!

Loving: These last days of pregnancy. This will most likely be my last pregnancy, so the end is a little bittersweet. This pregnancy has been much more physically demanding than my first and I'll be the first to admit that I have done a lot of griping! But, it is honestly the sweetest experience. I love having my girl with me all day - even when her little feet are tapping on my ribs. The idea of having two kids is just completely surreal to me. You only have one mom, one dad, one husband... but... I get to have two kids! That's amazing! I am so grateful to have been able to carry two beautiful girls and to see them grow!